In My Wilderness

in my wilderness, i found you
a peak of the mountain i wanted to climb
but my knees were falling
and my eyes were blind
but in my imagination i swear
i managed to find
a cloud in the night sky
hovering over you and i

in my wilderness, i dreamed many dreams
& the sun stood strong against the mountainous scene
i glanced for a second, i just wanted to know
if you're one in a million
that wouldn't melt away with snow

in my wilderness, i danced in a field of daffodils
& your embrace chased my little chills
i fell but i clawed back to stand
and my eyes were stung by a grain of sand

in my wilderness, i yearned so much for a star
but how can the blind see light twinkling from afar
it's impossible, so naive to think
i will never fall again should i break into a sprint

in my wilderness, i saw you behind closed doors
i took my chance, believing what my heart saw
i crashed into the hills & i fell right through
the sun was red
& the sky was blue

in my wilderness, i feel tight in your warmth
& the love was pure
& the fall was soft

one of the deepest poem i ever written. it could be meant for anybody. but if you figure it out, you really have me all figured out (:

i defied the colour code of today - i wore pink instead of blue.
i couldn't find a blue top to wear! my fault. my fault. i grew out of my blue craze!

my handphone constipated and hung up on me. it's amazing how long everybody else and myself took to get the cover off just so i could get the battery out. i was meddling with it during class and aha! it came off. after a thousand years!

I wish I could still say " I don't care " ever so confidently like I used to , without feeling any pinch or whatsoever . I wish I could act like I really don't care about you , like it has nothing to do with me and I'm not a least bit affected . I realize now whenever I say " I don't care " , I feel a tinge of something biting into my conscience , reminding me of the hard truth of stuff .

They tell me , " don't listen , don't bother " , but I find myself helplessly drawn to you .

Often , I get people questioning stuffs like " You don't know how many other people he actually sweet talks to every day eh ? " Or , " Maybe you're just one of those many people who actually matter a lot , no ? "

I don't know , I don't know . I'm learning to trust , I'm learning .

I shall go